my blog has always been used by me to share my art, tonight I have no creations to share with you. Tonight I just want to talk.
I made a decision today to leave a company that I have long adored and committed myself to, it wasn't an easy thing to decide but I did it in the end. For a long time I had tried to walk away but instead I had stayed and kept working on.
This didn't make me happy and it reflected in my art...I struggled to get things done the way I would normally.
Tonight I have seen, read and heard all sorts of things about my leaving...I'm "unprofessional", "vain", "egotistical", a "bad friend", I've "destroyed a business" and so on and so forth.
At first I felt bad but then I kept reading all the crap and I feel justified. It's sad when people get nasty instead of talking and worse when they don't listen.
I left for so many reasons...
#1 I felt as though I was chained down to just one thing and couldn't venture beyond it...this was too hard to take, too hard to be restrained from expression.
#2 I became too absorbed in this one company and forgot about what art was to me.
#3 I forgot to speak up when things felt wrong.
#4 I forgot who I was as an artist.
there are more but I'm not writing this to fuel any fires.
so...am I selfish for wanting to think about what is best for me?
am I vain or egotistical for finally appreciating my own creations?
I'm pretty sure the answer to both questions is no.
and so here I am at 1am, feeling satisfied that I have walked away from what I needed to, no longer sad or feeling regret because I know I am important (if only to myself and family)...I'll take my own advice from now on and wing it.