May 22, 2011

Life goes on...and I'll be fine

I live a normal life...not extravagant or mysterious...I speak one language, I am short, chubby, pale skinned...green eyes, hair currently black with a peppering of grey...all in all...normal. Right now lots of my friends and family are worried about me...why? because on Friday I was robbed...at knife point. Not really much more can be said about that, a guy smelling of beer and urine approached me and asked for a dollar, I said I didn't have a dollar to spare but obviously he had just watched me withdraw money from the ATM. This bloke decided he needed my rent and bill money more than me, and so he took it. This weekend saw me cocoon myself, not wanting to talk to anybody, not wanting to go anywhere...I did try but lasted about twenty minutes.  It's Sunday evening and I just got out of the bath...I lit a candle and searched my soul for understanding of why this happened to me...I'm a good person, honest, friendly, generous and reliable...I didn't
deserve such a terrifying event!!!...nobody does.

It happened...pure and simple. It wasn't because I deserved it, it wasn't because I needed to learn some unseen life lesson, it wasn't because I don't believe in god, it wasn't because as a child I stuck my tongue out while my teacher had her back to me...it is just something that happened. I don't hate the person who held the knife...he did what he wanted...maybe he was too stoned or drunk to really even know what he did...I don't know...it is just something that happened. I won't forget it but I will endevour to move on...it would be foolish and unproductive for me to do anything less. I just want everybody who emailed, phoned, texted, etc that I'll be fine and I'm thankful for the sincere thoughts from all.

20 comments:

Kate P said...

Linda I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. As someone who has been through a traumatic experience myself, all I can say is that you do what you need to until you feel able to move past it. In my case I holed up, cried lot, watched more movies than I ever thought possible, and as I began to feel better - created some really dark and angry art (as my hubby puts it!). If you need to vent or discuss 'dark art' drop me an email and know you have heaps of friends around to support you if you need it.
Big hugs. Oxoxox

CreativSpirit said...

Dear ((((((((((((((Linda)))))))))))))) just letting you know that I'm thinking about you and sending you lots of love and hugs to help you get past this awful event.

Rob

Zuzu's Blog said...

XX
no you didnt deserve it.

i emailed. not going to say anything here. Im thinking of you though .. you know that.

Bren said...

Linda I'm glad you are getting through this, can only imagine how terrifying it was and tangle of emotions afterwards. We all handle things differently, I'd be like you, withdraw in order to gain my own insight and stability. Be well

Jill Berry said...

I am with you. No reason in this, just random happenings to those of us having the human experience. I cannot imagine your fright, and I am so sorry this happened to you. xxooxo from Colorado.

Jo said...

Glad to know you're ok and that you're not letting this take over your life. Years ago I too was held at knife point but the man holding the knife wanted more than money. Thankfully, I managed to talk myself out of the situation and was physically unharmed. Mentally, it took me some time to trust in life again, couldn't go out by myself for a very long time. Looked at every man with his same features and wondered "is that him"? I was a teenager at the time and now I'm much older. Like you, I never blamed myself or wondered what I had done wrong, even at the young age of sixteen, I knew it was all about him and what he must have experienced in his life to make him do such a thing. Stay strong my friend, I'm grateful you are here to tell your story, the outcome could have been much different. Joella

Jo said...

Hi Linda, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad that you are okay and that you weren't physically harmed. Take Care, Jo =)

Joanne Huffman said...

It's very unfair and just wrong! Hope you can regain your equilibrium soon.

Carrie said...

I'm SO sorry this happened to you. I know that feeling of trying to wrap your head around it so that it can make some sort of sense...but it won't. I'm just happy you were not injured physically. Notice I didn't say "I'm happy you're ok." Obviously it's not ok, you experienced something horrible. I hope you will feel healing from the love of your friends and family.

Joanne said...

You are obviously a lot stronger than you think Linda, I know I could not move on from such an event, take care x x x

Marcy Smith said...

Beautifully and articulately put and You are completely right in EVERY WAY... you are a GUTSY chick and you are, whether you'll want me to say it or not, an inspiration in so many ways.

artymarty said...

Well Said. You didnt deserve it Linda. No-one does. Hang in there.

Deborah said...

Oh my dear, I had no idea. So much craziness and meanness in this world. I am so happy that you are OK and yes you did learn a lesson and can teach others too about being careful when you go to the ATM. It is good to see that you are dealing with this so positively. Continue to take care of yourself.

Kel said...

no, you did not deserve to be robbed
I am sorry for your loss
may you find a way to rekindle belief in humanity again
perhaps some therapeutic artmaking will be part of your recovery process

Julie said...

Having suffered an horrendous event at the hands of a maniac may I say to you that NO you did not deserve what happened to you.
Hopefully you won't change, although you just might find that you are anxious for a while.
My incident which involved police took a long time for me to recover from.
The comment that helped me the most was from an old very experienced police man who said to me "Stop beating yourself up about why" Accept that there is no rational why that you will ever understand."
Your post title says it beautifully. Keep creating keep being the lovely person that you are and luckily, because it could have been much worse, your life does go on!
I am sending you a cyber hug from the other side of Australia - HUG!
Julie

Jaqi said...

Oh Linda Im so sorry this happened to you. What an awful thing I hope you feel a bit better very soon. Sending (((((hugs))))) and positive thoughts and hoping that you are able to put this behind you and move on , life throws some nasty stuff at us at us at times doesnt it? Take Care Jaqi xx

Armada Volya said...

Sorry to hear you had such experience. It's terrifying. Hope you will be able to brush it off soon enough. Stay strong.

Abstract

Motherkitty said...

Linda ~
How awful for you! Having worked in law enforcement for a few years, I have seen the toll this sort of thing can take on a person. Please, don't hesitate to seek counselling or take advantage of various victim support groups. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Hang in there!

Gentle hugs!

Motherkitty said...

Linda ~

How awful for you! Having been in law enforcement for a few years, I have seen the toll something like this can take on a person. Please, do not hesitate to seek counselling or take advantage of victim support groups. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Gentle hugs!

Hels Sheridan said...

Bloody hell Linda, that is awful... I can't even begin to imagine how that must have felt... no, you so did not deserve to be treated like that and like others have said before me, you are strong and you will come through this... sending you a HOOOOGE hug... bless ya xxx